Helping Your Child Through Tragedy

On behalf of the board of directors and the staff at the ELCLC, we would like to extend our deepest condolences to the families who were affected by the Connecticut school shooting. We must continue to keep them in our thoughts and prayers, and honor the heroes, the teachers, school staff, and law enforcement officers who saved the lives of so many children that day.

Tragedies like these are always a blow to the national conscience, making us saddened and angry. We often overlook the fact that children catch bits and pieces of our conversations and the news, and can be impacted by tragedies as much as adults. In dealing with traumatic situations, it is important to consider what the children are feeling and experiencing during this confusing time and understand how to deal with it.

Children have a very strong desire to understand. When we realize our child has been exposed to violence on TV, graphic news stories, etc., we should inform them without providing too much detail. When parents help their children to understand what’s going on, they can better cope with the information given.

Children can confuse reality with fantasy and can distort information and facts. Learn what they know.  If a child brings up something that they have heard about or seen on TV, as them open ended questions like, “What do you know about that?” By doing so, you are able to ascertain their level of knowledge, help to guide your response, and answer their questions.  

Provide children with ways to express themselves. Whether through toys, art work, dance, or music, children who have experienced tragedy should be given avenues for expression. Sometimes, words don't come easily after such events. By letting children express their emotions, parents can better understand what their children are feeling.

By educating ourselves so that we can identify the signs of trauma, we can prevent emotional distress in our children. Click here for Tips for Talking to Your Preschool about Disasters.